i need Him
by sassukeuchiha
Summary: Sasuke's POV of Orochimaru. This was inspired by the nightmares I have ( i know im soo edgy smh ). WARNING: rape?, pedophilia, slight incest, gore and blood, character death.
I regretted leaving the Leaf village very quickly. I wanted to grow more powerful. I wanted to become stronger than my brother. I wanted to do so much.

It seems like a distant memory now.

I was a smart child, sharp witted and powerful. No one doubted my strength. Girls wanted me and boys wanted to be me. I don't want to be me.

He promised me strength if I gave Him my body in return. He said He wanted it to transfer into when the time came. He told me He wanted to learn my body before He was in it and wanting to become the best I endured it. _His hands are so cold_.

I have so much potential.

He started off being so gentle. Dragging His long fingers up and down my torso. To my collar bones. To my ribs. To my neck. To my stomach. To my chin. To my thigh. His fingers traced back up. Both hands this time. He cupped my face in His hands and kissed my forehead. Back down again. He made sure to slide His hands over my sensitive parts. He stopped. He drifted His hand to my boyhood. He cupped that too.

His hands were so soft. _Cool and brutal and deadly_.

I started to enjoy His touch. I touched myself when I thought of it. I always ended up thinking about who I had left. And I would cry.

Slowly His touch lost the affectionate side I found soothing.

He began to insert himself. It hurt and sometimes I would bleed. His long finger nails would dig into my skin ripping it away from my body. I looked like a white and red tiger after He would be finished with me.

The other man would look at me with sad eyes. I've seen the scars he has. I know the way he looks at Him. I took his place. He doesn't seem grateful. I used to wonder why the other man looked at me with envy when He took me away for His use.

I understand it. As much as He hurts me _I know I need Him_.

He sticks His snakes in me. He ties me up and rips the skin off my back. He chains me up and leaves me to starve for days. _But He cares_.

I don't even flinch when His tongue parades around my body anymore. I don't scream when He bites me until I bleed. I don't moan when He takes me in his mouth. He loves the sound of his own voice so much He gets off to his own pleasure. I stay silent.

As hard as I try I can't stop crying.

Sometimes He mixes His fluids in with my food. He likes to watch me eat it. He wants to make me His. _He owns me_.

When He isn't with me I touch myself. I think about my old friends. I think about my brother. I think about the sky.

 _I haven't seem any of them in years._

I don't train anymore. I just sit in my room and wait for Him. I can't function without Him. He knows what's best for me. If He wants me to enclose my mouth around His member I will. If He wants me to cut off my finger I will. _And I have_.

The other man's eyes look so weak now. He doesn't even look at Him anymore. The other man continues the experiments on the test subjects. The other man can't live without Him either. I wonder if he will die.

I used to be so strong. I used to be so determined. The only time I think of my brother is when I touch myself. I've been here so long I don't know if what happened was real or fake. I think I'm going crazy. I need Him to come back. _I need Him so bad._

The thought of revenge leaves my stomach in a knot. I would have to leave Him. _I don't know what it's like not to be with Him anymore._

I follow Him everywhere. If He leaves me alone I cry. I scream. I need to make sure He isn't trying to leave me alone. He doesn't like it when I follow Him so He locks me up and chains me up. If this is what He wants I will stay. _The tears don't stop_.

I haven't seen the other man in a while. I think he might have died.

My body is mutilated to the point its barely recognizable. He never touches my face. He never does enough harm to kill me. I know He cares.

 _I think I like the pain now._

I don't touch myself anymore. I'm too weak.

He leaves me alone more often now. I don't have the energy to scream for Him to come back. I cry myself to sleep and dream of the green grass. I dream of my best friend. I don't need him anymore _I have Him_.

When He comes back I get up. He's so much more rough now. It's like he wants me to die. He slices my wrists and licks my wounds. He uses my blood to make His entry into me easier. He wraps His snakes around my boyhood. Then He makes the snakes bite me.

 _I've stopped crying._

I dream of only Him now and wake up to wet sheets. I think I want to die. When He reaches his climax He pulls at my hair. I don't remember the last time He made me come. It don't care about myself anymore. _It's all for Him._

He left me alone chained up in this room for 5 days. I almost died. But He came back because I know He loves me. _He has to love me. He has to love me. He has to love me_.

His eyes look different this time. I don't recognize this look. _Cool and brutal and deadly_.

It hurts so much. He takes his kunai and plunges it into my chest. I can hear the sound of my skin ripping as the He drags the blade down my torso. I'm bleeding so much. There is so much blood.

He immerse His hand in my insides. _Where's the pain_.

His hands come out a deep red. He's pulling out my intestines. _Where's the pain_.

I can hear the sound of Him cracking my bones. And the wet, thick sounds of my flesh as He dissects me. D _oes He love me?_

 _He seems to have turned off the lights. Where am I? Who am I?_

My blood seems so warm compared to my body. _I just want to see His face one more time. I need Him._

 _I feel so calm. He loves me. He loves me._

I close my eyes and embrace the darkness. I know I'm slipping away.

I haven't seen the sky in years. I don't know how old I am. I can't even remember my own name. I don't even know why I'm here. I am glad I don't have to live anymore. _Maybe He will join me_.

I remember His name. I open my mouth to let one word escape. He is still emptying me.

"Orochimaru." I gasp. _I wanted His name to be my last word._


End file.
